The Unspoken Battle
I remember begging my mom to buy me one of those ab machines in 3rd grade. You remember the ab machine that works your abs by shocking you while you sit. Seriously. Third. Grade.
As a little brown girl growing up in Madison, Wisconsin, in the 90s, I hated being so different. All I saw when I looked in the mirror was a monster, and all I wanted was to look like the perfection I saw everywhere else—small, dainty, silky hair. Their hair was long and flowy, while mine was kinky and short. They were skinny and dainty, and I felt like an ogre. Everywhere I looked—from Britney Spears to the Spice Girls—I felt like the message was the same: “You’re not pretty.”
Fast forward twenty years, and the story was still the same, just with more adult resources: the detoxes, the keto diets, the P90X, the Alli pills—all to 'transform' myself. I can’t tell you how many summers I spent covering my arms with a jacket (sweating profusely!) and how many nights I spent crying, wishing I could finally be the thin, beautiful person I wanted so desperately to be. But let me tell you the secret no one wants to admit out loud: Everything I was doing was coming from a place of self-disgust. It wasn’t self-improvement; it was self-punishment. I hated the way I looked, who I was, and that, my love, is why the routines never stuck.
It took years to realize this body is a miracle, a vessel that carries, heals, and sustains. The shift came when I finally moved from trying to "fix" myself to truly honoring my body. When I move now, it isn't coming from the military drill sergeant in my head; it’s coming from a loving place that tells me to give my all, but honor my limits. Moving from a place of love helps me stay consistent, quiet the mean self-talk, and continue to love myself exactly as I am right now.
Self-love isn't just a mood. It's the ultimate sustainable glow-up.
The Shift: From Fixing to Honoring
For The Love U Collective, true self-love is radical acceptance and intentional care. It’s the difference between exercising to punish and fix and moving to honor and respect your body. You don’t start loving yourself overnight. You need tangible, daily reminders that create a ritual or habit of self-love. This is why we exist: to transform self-care from a “trend” or another chore, to a soulful, aligned ritual.
The Chakra Connection: Where the Magic Happens
When the self-criticism creeps in—that harsh voice telling you what you should be—it's often a direct assault on your energy centers. Focusing on the right chakras helps quiet the noise.
- The Heart Chakra (Anahata) – Love and Compassion: This center governs compassion, love, and emotional connection, especially the one to self. When we are unkind to ourselves, this center constricts. We see our flaws first, and become more critical of others, harshly comparing ourselves. When we practice radical self-acceptance, the energy expands. We see our own beauty, and we see the beauty and humanity in others, even the ones that might drive us a little nuts sometimes. We need to invite love in to feel the love we’re all so desperately chasing.
- The Sacral Chakra (Svadhisthana) – Sensuality and Play: This is the center of sensuality, creativity, and play. Body shame is a direct Sacral Chakra block. It makes us feel stiff, un-sexy, and unworthy of pleasure. Honoring your body means awakening your Sacral energy. This is why we integrate scent, movement, dance, or art—to simply allow yourself to feel good without needing to earn it first.
The 'My Own Soulmate' Kit
You don’t start loving yourself overnight. You need tangible, daily reminders—a permission slip to show up for yourself. That's why we created the 'My Own Soulmate' Ritual Kit.
Our products are intentional tools. We're not selling pretty scents; we're selling a multi-sensory anchor for your intention, making sure your mind, body, and spirit are finally on the same team.
The Multi-Sensory Approach
The power of this kit is two-fold:
- Tying Intentions to the Senses: The chakra-aligned aroma becomes a powerful cue, triggering awareness and helping you remember and stick to your self-love intentions.
- Targeting Energy Centers: The specific blends naturally target and support the associated chakras for balance and alignment.
The Rituals: The Kit Contents & Quick Demo
Step 1: Heart Opening
Light the Love on the Brain Body Oil Candle. As the floral blend of rose and bergamot fills the room, set your self-love intention. Apply your Intention Setting Oil over your heart (Anahata/Heart Chakra), sealing your intention and inviting self-compassion and love.
Step 2: Sensual Awakening
Spritz the Sexy & I Know It Room Spray in your space (and aura) to ignite your playfulness and sensuality (Svadhisthana/Sacral Chakra). Then, get silly! Dance around, sing, write, draw. Anything that feels fun and not tied to productivity or “progress”. Celebrate yourself and everything you are. Celebrate this promise you made to yourself.
Bonus: Once the body oil candle pools, blow out the candle and apply the skin-softening oil to your body, paying special attention to your heart space. Repeat your self-love intention as the aroma fills your senses.
Join the Collective
We've all been sold the lie that self-care is a solitary journey, but true healing happens in community. Join our growing community of like-minded women exploring real self-care, shared stories, and genuine connection. From book clubs and mom groups to women’s circles and movement events, join us on a community-driven journey to holistic wellness. Check out our events page to find a circle near you!